


From Russia With Love

by badlifechoices



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Pretending To Be Married, badly written russian accent, death of unimportant french coppers, sort of, spy AU, though only for a short time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 01:33:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1450363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badlifechoices/pseuds/badlifechoices
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time they meet Leonard doesn’t realise that the kid with the face of an angel and the unruly curls of golden hair falling around his face is far less innocent than he presumes he is. He just assumes the boy is at the wrong place at the wrong time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From Russia With Love

The first time they meet Leonard doesn’t realise that the kid with the face of an angel and the unruly curls of golden hair falling around his face is far less innocent than he presumes he is. He just assumes the boy is at the wrong place at the wrong time.

The police have surrounded the building, the SWAT team is in place but agent McCoy and his partner are the first to go in because they’re the specialists on this case. It’s what they usually do even if it’s ridiculously dangerous at times: They’re the ones trained for this kind of situations; they’re the one with the big guns. Leonard McCoy is still more or less happily married he’s got a five year old daughter waiting for him and that’s what he tells himself later: That the kid reminded him of his daughter. He knows it’s a lie but that doesn’t mean he has to accept it as it is. The kid is sitting on the windowsill, watching the blue lights of the police cars and the gathering crowd outside. Between his fingers he holds the glowing stump of a cigarette and the first thing Leonard thinks is that the kid has to be too young to smoke. They’re supposed to be looking for a team, one James Tiberius Kirk, wanted for betraying his agency, selling state secrets to other nations and possibly dangerous criminal organisations. He’s been on the FBI’s most wanted list for years now. And he’s been on Leonard’s personal most wanted list from the moment he betrayed not only the agency but him as his best friend and partner too.

Kirk’s new companion is the one they’re still puzzled about. Pavel Chekov is obviously Russian but also a genius hacker, ex-Russian intelligence and known to be one of the only people who have ever hacked into US government servers without getting caught or leaving a trace that can be followed until someone cracked his code months after the assault. They assume he’s about the same age as Kirk but no one knows anything for sure.

But the kid is just sitting there, looking at the agent with his big, innocent eyes. He doesn’t seem to be afraid and it surprises Leonard because he would definitely be afraid if some guy was approaching him with his weapon drawn and aiming at him.

His com crackles. “The place is empty!” His partner doesn’t sound surprised. But Kirk and Chekov are professionals; it was to be expected that they’re already long gone. People like them they still have connections everywhere and probably inside their old agencies, the police or whatever so they know when someone’s onto them.

“What are you doing here, kid?” Leonard asks but the moment he steps closer, the kid is on his feet, eying him warily. He doesn’t answer though. Maybe he doesn’t speak English, some of the kids of the people who live in this part of town don’t. They’re illegal immigrants from all around the world, those who can’t afford to live anywhere near the city centre.

“Get out of here! This is no place to play.” He lowers his gun and raises his empty hand to his earpiece. “I’m clear. No trace of Kirk or his partner.”

The boy smiles and there’s something in that smile and the way the other approaches him, full of confidence, his hips swaying ever so slightly. Leonard is frozen in his place, his hand uselessly clutching the gun and aiming it to the ground as the boy with the golden hair comes to a stop directly in front of him. He’s got beautiful eyes, Leonard thinks, and a wave of shame and disgust rushes through him at the same time because the kid can’t be older than sixteen. He wants to tell the kid to get the fuck out of here, wants to arrest him for getting in the way and being somewhere he obviously shouldn’t be but the moment he opens his mouth the boy stands on the tips of his toes and kisses him on his lips. And really, it’s not even a real kiss, just a short moment of warm, soft lips pressed against his own and hot breath ghosting over his skin before the kid’s already stepping back again. “Zank you mester.” He grins and slips effortlessly through the space between him and the door in Leonard’s back, disappearing down the stairs – or up? Leonard is too shocked to turn around and watch him go.

It isn’t until his partner’s voice is back that he pulls himself together and leaves the building. In the haze of sirens and lights and people shouting to seal off the building to look for evidence he realises too late that the kid had a very peculiar accent.

It doesn’t take him long to regret letting his judgement get in the way of his duty. A few weeks later they get some of the records of a Pavel Andreievich Chekov, honour student and youngest applicant at Moscow State University ever. He’s also a genius and was apparently recruited for the Russian equivalent of the FBI as a mere kid before he disappeared without a trace about a year ago. He looks even younger on the pictures, more angelic and almost androgynous and Leonard begins to hate himself for thinking that those lips were the sweetest he’s tasted in years.

\--

It is a personal issue at first, the search for the two fugitives, not only the man who used to be his best friend but especially the young boy who wasn’t even old enough to go to jail yet even less work for an intelligence agency of some sort. But as the years pass and the two remain unfound it becomes an obsession. His marriage breaks apart because he is so focused on his job. Being a married FBI agent is never easy but in his case it’s even more difficult as he forgets everything over his newfound obsession. He was short on spare time before but now he completely ignores that he has a life outside the agency. He can’t give his wife what she’s asking for; he can’t forget the boy with the angel face and the beautiful eyes that are too old for him. He never tells anyone about the incident at the abandoned building, too scared they will mark him a paedophile though he obviously is one because, hell, who gets kissed by a sixteen-year old and is turned on by it? It’s just sick; it makes him sick.

He keeps track of everything that shows up on either Kirk or Chekov but both of them seem to have vanished off the face of the earth.

Two years later the wall of his office is still plastered with photographs taken by surveillance cameras, records, bank card details and the few official pictures they have but he has given up all hope to catch them.

Of course it’s the best thing they could do: disappear without leaving a trace because they’re not only on the FBI’s most wanted list, the Russians are looking for them too and whatever Chekov got in those servers he hacked into a few years ago it’s important enough to have the Americans ask for international help. They want the data back and they want Kirk’s head on a silver plate because he’s a traitor and the FBI hates traitors more than they hate the Russians and that says a lot. Okay, so sometimes Leonard isn’t exactly fond of the methods his agency is using but he can’t understand how Kirk would be so dumb to use his position to gain access to state secrets and then sell them for money. The job pays well and it may be dangerous but being a wanted fugitive is even more dangerous so what the hell could bring a man to become a traitor? Especially one with a record that is as flawless as Kirk’s? Leonard has gone through everything he got his hands on though most of it was beyond his clearance. He has some nasty suspicions because why would those simple records be sealed, especially to the one who was officially assigned to the case? But he doesn’t voice them because he’s got enough problems with his superior already and he doesn’t want to fuck this up. He needs to find them. He needs to find the kid!

\--

It’s one of these days, two years after the incident at the abandoned building that he gets the call: Some guy that fits the description of the former agent James Tiberius Kirk has been spotted in San Francisco, obviously by a police officer who was too incompetent to jump into action immediately and lost the man after a few minutes in a crowd of tourists. Leonard shakes his head at the news. He doesn’t understand why Kirk would be stupid enough to return to the states not with what he has done because he thought the man was more intelligent than that. But at the same time he feels excited, almost enthusiastic about the news because this is the lead he’s been waiting for and he doesn’t even have to leave the country to follow the trace of the man he’s been looking for years. He hopes when he gets Kirk he will be able to get his hands on his partner too. He needs to look the kid in the eye and cuff him; lock him away together with that obsession because it has been eating him up for years now.

\--

The next day he comes into his office something seems amiss. The files on his desk are still there, exactly where he left them but some of the pictures he had on his walls are missing. In a fit of anger he storms out of the door again to yell at the first person he can find and ask them what the fuck is going on. Instead he runs into his boss who looks just as enraged as he feels.

“Someone has hacked into our servers.” Pike informs him and then orders him to attend the debriefing half an hour later. And Leonard can feel the anticipation rising in his chest because if Kirk has been seen and someone hacked in their servers not even 24 hours later it can’t be a coincidence right? There ought to be a reason why Kirk teamed up with a talented hacker, right?

“Every hacker has his very own code.” Informs Riley them half an hour later. He’s the head of their local IT compartment and also the one who cracked Chekov’s code a few years ago after he hacked into the Pentagon. “It’s like a virtual fingerprint or a piece of DNA left on a crime scene. If you know what you’re looking for and where to look for it, you can easily find it.” Leonard doesn’t know why the guy can’t just tell them the information they need and then shut up for good but the man got a knack for holding lectures and no one is actually going to tell him to shut it. “And I looked at the signature of the guy who hacked into our servers and – I have to say he’s good, like really good and so subtle had he not accessed stuff that’s protected I wouldn’t have known he was there – I knew his signature was familiar. So I looked up the stuff from a few years ago and found that he used the same combination of codes.”

“So?” Leonard stares at the lines of computer codes that he doesn’t understand at all. He can use a computer, he knows how to look up files and google stuff but everything that goes beyond that is out of his league.

“It’s definitely Chekov. I’d recognise his code out of a million other hackers.”

It’s exactly what Leonard wants to hear and if he feels a spark of joy at the news that the boy is back in the game and it’s definitely because he can finally finish the job he fucked up two years ago.

“But that’s not all. Either the guy is getting sloppy or he wants to be found – and let me tell you it’s probably the latter because I couldn’t imagine this guy losing his game like he’s the best I have ever seen and he could disguise himself as Chinese government for all I know – but I was able to trace him to a server in – you wouldn’t believe it – the US. He’s here. Not only the states but he’s here. In this very city!”

The rest of the debriefing passes in a haze; Leonard is the specialist on the case so he explained everything he knows to the others. The hacker who has accessed their servers earlier – Chekov – has not only deleted all their files on his own person and accessed the ones about Kirk were they sealed or not but he has also erased records of a handful of other former agents, including: Nyota Uhura, Montgomery Scott and Hikaru Sulu. It is a weird choice as all of them are marked as being killed in the line of duty and have absolutely nothing to do with the cases Kirk has worked before he has betrayed the FBI. It is on them now to find the connection because there has to be a reason the hacker targeted those files. Leonard has studied everything there is about Chekov and he thinks he knows him good enough to tell that he never does anything without a reason.

They schedule another meeting for the next day and for now the work is done because they can’t do scrap until they’ve got more information. The police was pulled in and they’ve got officers on every road that leaves the city. Every airport and train station is under surveillance. Leonard’s fingers are itching to do something else; waiting has never been his strength after all but his partner – he hates the guy sometimes, he really does – remains stoic as always, reminding him of the fact that it would be futile to go out there on his own and look for their targets. Leonard can’t understand how the man can remain so calm after all he was a friend of Kirk’s too before the agent double-crossed them and left the agency without a second thought.

Even worse, it was Leonard who had been his partner but it was Spock he left in this pub in Serbia with a bullet in his shoulder and the message not to look for him ever. Leonard and James – Kirk, he forbid himself to think of the man as Jim or James anymore now he only uses his last name – had been friends ever since they’d been put together as a team, both joining the agency for entirely different reasons. But as far as Leonard knows there has been something else between Spock and Kirk for a while, he suspected them to be dating for a while until, well, until the thing in Serbia happened. If they really had been dating then it should be Spock who harbours the worst grudge against Kirk right now but the man has convinced Pike that he has absolutely no personal strings attached to their target anymore and their boss seems to believe him.

Leonard though is determined to catch them this time. He won’t let himself be fooled again. He takes the long way home, driving around in his sleek, black car for a while to calm his nerves at least a bit. He has to be prepared to get no sleep tonight; he’s prepared to jump at the very sound of his mobile ringing and he’s almost looking forward to some action happening.

What he’s not prepared for however is to find the very man – teen he’s looking for sitting on his doorstep when he comes home. He’s got a cigarette pressed against his pink lips, eyes closed and his fingers are tapping a rhythm against the door in his back. Leonard stops dead in his tracks when he sees him, fiddling with his gun but the boy doesn’t seem to mind him being here.

“Agent McCoy.” He says with a smile when he opens his eyes and sees him standing there. He drops the hand with the cigarette and looks up at him from under his lashes. His voice is still coloured by this heavy Russian accent but he seems completely unfazed when Leonard draws his gun and motions for him to stand up.

“What do you want, kid? You’re a wanted traitor. I should shoot you right now and there.” Chekov stands up almost gracefully and draws himself to his full height – which is still a few inches smaller than the agent – as he flicks the cigarette onto the sidewalk and stumps on it with his foot. He takes his time arranging his clothes, a long, brown coat that seems too thick for this kind of weather – suggesting that he’s not been in the states or a place with a warm climate for very long – and a simple shirt underneath it, hugging his slender body in ways Leonard doesn’t want to think about. The outfit is completed by tight, ripped jeans that cling to his long legs and military boots.

“Zen kill me, agent McCoy.” Chekov raises both his hands in a mocking gesture, the grin on his lips not fading, as he steps closer. “But you vill not do et, vill you? You vant to know why I am here, do you not? I vill not be able to tell you if you kill me right now.” The kid glances at his weapon for a moment and then tilts his head, licking his lips in a lascivious way that makes Leonard’s throat feel dry all of a sudden.

“I vould not mind if you cuff me though.” And Leonard really wants to do just that, cuff him and drag him back to the headquarter to throw him in one of the cells until he loses this goddamn confidence but at the same time he wants so bad just to shove him against the door in his back and make him stop talking. And really it’s not easy to convince his mind that fucking the kid is the worst possible idea, topped only by letting him escape a second time but it’s even harder the moment Chekov steps up to him.

“You know I haff vondered about you. I knew who you vere of course vhen ve first met. But I did not know wery much and I vanted to know vhat happened to you.” The Russian lays a finger against his lips, the smile never disappearing from his face. “I zink you zought about me too. Nyota told me you haff all zose pictures of me in your office.” And Leonard doesn’t know if the kid is just batshit crazy because Nyota Uhura has been dead for years, shot by a terrorist in Afghanistan, or if this was some sick kind of joke. The gun in his hand is still pointed at the other’s head and his hand is as still as it could be as the kid presses himself against his chest and he, in turn, presses the gun to his head.

“Stop with the games, kid. If you get some kinda kick out of this you’ll end up dead before you know it.” And he feels the grin that erupts on the other’s face more than he can see it because the boy is so damn close now.

“But I am sure you vill not be ze vone who vill kill me in ze end.” Chekov mumbles and his accent seems to be getting thicker. Then he does the same thing he has done two years ago, standing on his toes and kissing him. And Leonard is still frantically searching for some kind of an apology – it’s been to long since he’s been with someone – when he grabs the kid’s neck and pulls him closer, tilting his head to grant him better access. The kiss turns into something entirely else, something hungry and desperate and in no way gentle. Teeth are clashing, tongues sliding against each other and Leonard can taste blood unable to tell if it’s his own or the kid’s.

When they break apart they’re both breathing heavily and Leonard doesn’t know at what point he has let go of the gun that is now pressed against his own temple. The kid has used the kiss to distract him and steal his fucking gun only to threaten him with it... “You little shit...” he spits and anger flares up in his chest. At the same time he asks himself what else he has been expecting. What did he think the kid was up to? Did he really believe the boy would come all the way here for some hot make-out session? “You wanna kill me, kid, do it. I’m not gonna beg you for my life or anything. I’m not gonna spill my guts to you either.”

The smile on the kid’s lips is gone now instead he’s looking dead serious, as he gently brushes a finger over the older man’s cheek. “I am wery sorry I haff to do zis Leonard. I know you do not beliewe me right now but I hope you vill wery soon.”

Then he steps back and if Leonard thought the kid was crazy before he’s convinced that he’s bugshit crazy now because what the fuck? He expects Chekov to shoot him. Why else would he be here? He knows obviously that Leonard is the one with the most information about him; he knows that Leonard is the only one who still has those files that he has previously deleted from the servers because he’s been in his office. He’s probably already stolen them and now he’s going to kill him to make sure the information in his head is lost to the others too. It’s the only logical explanation he can come up with.

But Chekov doesn’t shoot.

Instead Leonard hears steps behind him on the cobblestone of the sidewalk. He still stares into those beautiful and apologising eyes when something solid hits the back of his head and his whole world goes black all of a sudden.

\--

He wakes up with a headache and his mouth feels like something has crawled into it and died there. Leonard thinks he’ll probably throw up any minute but he suppresses the urge and instead tries to find out where he is. The first thing he realises is that his arms are bent at an angle that makes his shoulders ache. He’s sitting on a hard, wooden chair, his arms tied together behind his back. It’s still dark around him but this darkness is due to the lack of light in the small room around him. There’s no window but as soon as his eyes have adjusted to the darkness he can spot a door across the room. He doesn’t have the time to gather his thoughts or ask himself any of the thousand questions that are circulating in his mind right now because in this very moment the door opens and the light is switched on. He squints, once again forced to adjust himself as he is momentarily blinded. He can see two – no three shadows moving and the scraping of wood against the floor as one of them sits down across from him.

“Hey there Bones.”

He knows that voice. He knows it far too well but he hasn’t heard it in years and right now he wants to snap at the man who dares to call him by this name because he has lost all right to do so. Instead he muffles a groan, as he forces his lips apart and his mind to form a complete sentence. “Why am I here, Kirk?”

“Wow, last name base. So you really hate me that much now...”

Leonard can see more clearly now that his eyes are no longer blinded by the lights. It is indeed James T. Kirk sitting in front of him but he looks different, older. He’s no longer the young man, full of energy he was before he left – betrayed the agency. To his left is a woman he doesn’t know, she’s got long, dark hair and equally dark skin and she’s very beautiful. The look on her face is serious and she has her arms crossed over her chest. On Kirk’s other side stands Chekov. He’s no longer wearing the skinny jeans and shirt with his way too thick coat. Instead he’s dressed in a suit, a really nice and fitting suit that is, probably tailored specially for him. It hugs his body in just the right ways but Leonard forbids himself to think anything beyond that. He also doesn’t allow himself to look at the kid’s face because he is afraid that he will find the same sadness there that he has seen before. He doesn’t want to feel guilty for hating the boy.

“What’d you expect, Jim?” He spits out the last word because it burns like acid on his tongue and glares at the man in front of him. Jim is wearing a suit as well; they’re probably either coming from somewhere or going somewhere important.

“I expected nothing else.” And now he sounds just as tired as he looks and it shouldn’t shock Leonard as much as it does because this is a wanted criminal, a murderer, a traitor. And still he can’t understand why he has chosen this path.

“Why did you leave, Jim? Why did you do this to me, to Spock?”

“I had to.” And Leonard wants to yell at him wants to ask him why the fuck would he have to betray his own country but instead he waits for Jim to continue.

“I have proof that there’s a leak in the FBI somewhere high up. There are at least one, maybe two agents who’ve been conspiring with terrorist cells in Eastern Europe. I was investigating the death of another agent when I found out about it. When I came back I was under surveillance. I tried to dig up more about the whole thing and suddenly I was attacked by snipers on my way back to work. I didn’t know who else to trust because I didn’t know who else was in on it. I had to disappear before they managed to kill me so I pulled the stunt in Serbia.” There is nothing but honesty in Jim’s face though it sounds like the craziest kind of action-film story he has ever heard.

“Why didn’t you tell me about it?” He asks and maybe it’s really a bit too much for him right now but he feels like his head is bursting, not only from the headache but also from what he’s just been told because if this is true then he has hated and hunted his best friend for years for no reason at all.

“I didn’t want to pull you into the matter. They were going to kill me, fine, but if I told you they’d targeted you and your family too. I couldn’t let that happen.”

“And Spock?”

“Spock knows that I’m not a traitor. He doesn’t know why but he knows that I’m innocent and that I had a reason to leave. He let me shoot him so he could continue to be our source in the agency without anyone suspecting anything.” The bastard has known about all this? All the time? And he has never said a word? Leonard is so going to kill him for that. If whatever Jim has just told him is the truth that is and if he survives long enough.

“And if I don’t believe you?”

Jim shrugs and runs a hand through his messy hair. He really looks tired, like he’s been running for too long and he just wants it to stop. “You’re here because we need your help. So if you don’t believe me we’ll have to find another way.”

“Another way to do what?”

“To delay your investigation. Spock said you were the one in charge. And we need to get Pavel and Nyota to Paris, kinda difficult with all the police force at the airport.” There it is again: Nyota. The dead agent. Leonard looks more closely at the woman standing behind Jim and the woman does indeed look similar to the picture he’s seen in the file. But she is supposed to be dead...

She seems to guess his thoughts because she shrugs and says: “My team and I we were supposed to intercept a transaction in Afghanistan; someone had smuggled information out of the US, information only someone with connections on the inside could have. Jim and Pavel showed up and told us to get the fuck out of there and the next day our hotel was but a smoking ruin.”

Leonard stares at her for a little while before shaking his head. “This is all too much.” He groans and moves to massage his temples but his hands are still bound behind his back. “I’m not going to run, you know...”

Jim nods and Chekov walks over to him, without looking at him directly. A minute later he is freed from his ties and can finally feel his hands again. Rubbing the angry red marks on his wrists he watches the kid move back to Jim’s side. He wonders what his story is because if what Jim is true then he too must be on the run for different reasons than he has earlier believed, right?

“Why Paris?” He asks because he really doesn’t know what else to ask right now. His head is too full with unanswered questions anyway.

“Names. We still don’t know who the mole is but Scotty found someone who might know something. Someone who claims to have evidence.”

The worst thing is that all of this sounds almost believable. Leonard is not sure he’s handling the situation right but he’s never been the textbook kind of type. He’s pretty sure there’s no textbook telling you what to do when your ex-best friend tells you someone in your agency has been betraying their home country and trying to assassinate all agents who find out about it anyway. But somehow he still wants proof.

“Give me this one chance, Bones. I wanted you dead; I would’ve killed you hours ago. You wouldn’t have made it home from work. You know I wouldn’t be so stupid to show up in this city if I was really guilty of treason, right?”

Leonard shrugs because he’s still angry and how could he not be after having spent years hating this man? At the same time it makes sense though and he guesses the most logical way to find out if it is the truth is to agree to their terms. If it is just another lie he can always go back to hunting them; now he even knows where they’re headed.

“I’ll do it. But betray me again and I’ll personally but a bullet through your head, Jim.”

The grin spreading on his ex-partner’s face is not as bright as he remembers it but his handshake is just as strong as he reaches over and grabs him. “Thanks, Bones. You’re helping us a great deal here.” And he looks like he wants to say more but the woman – Uhura is lightly tapping his shoulder and nodding her head at the door in a clear ‘we got to go’ gesture. Leonard wants to ask where they’re headed but now that the talking is over, his attention has once again returned to the young Russian, leant against the wall. The boy is watching him like he is some kind of puzzle to figure out and somehow that makes Leonard smile because isn’t Chekov the one who probably knows everything about him judging from his words?

“Pavel will get you back home. Nyota and I have to contact our contact man again.” And with that Jim and Uhura are out of the door and gone. Leonard sighs in relief as he stands up and stretches his legs for the first time. It’s a damned good feeling after sitting in this position the whole time. The kid is still watching him but his expression has changed from pondering to something else. He steps closer and Leonard doesn’t know if he should ask the kid what he even wants because he doesn’t know what their previous encounters really were. Was Chekov just testing him? Was he trying to find out more about him? And couldn’t he have distracted him in some other way earlier; did he really have to kiss him like that? He abandons all questions when the kid stops a few feet in front of him, his hands thrust into his pockets and looks at him with a sheepish grin that is nothing like his previous expressions.

“So I heerd I am supposed to bring you home, agent McCoy?”

“Seems so.” And apparently in a fit of madness he adds: “And it’s Leonard, Leonard McCoy but Leonard is okay.”

“Vell zen Leonard, if you vould follow me to ze car?” And no that was a damn bad idea because his name is just too sweet on those lips and is this the Stockholm syndrome already – is it possible to form an emotional bond with your abductor after a few hours – because he feels his gaze drawn to the kid’s very fine arse when they finally leave the tiny room and head down the hallway. Leonard forces himself to take in his surroundings instead, his instincts kicking in. It seems to be an abandoned office building or something like that because he can see the small compartments and a facade with large windows. It’s the perfect place for someone to observe what’s going on around the building and an excellent hideout for a sniper, he thinks. Chekov leads him down the stairs – the lift is not working he tells him after four stories – and out through the front door. The lobby is just as abandoned as the rest of the building is but there are some amateur cameras sitting on the empty counter and probably in other places he can’t see right now. This group Jim has found for himself is obviously a team of professionals.

The car is a dark blue Lamborghini and really this is just cliché because it’s way too extravagant for a common criminal, something he has never expected from a group of fugitives and probably perfect for that reason alone. Chekov grins as he slips in the driver’s seat and for a split second Leonard worries whether the kid even has a driver’s licence, then he just follows his example and climbs into the passenger seat.

“So tell me: how did you and Jim come across each other?” he asks when Chekov starts the car because he’s got nothing else to do and the silence is making his headache even worse now after all the talking. He’s not really waiting for an honest answer though, so he’s not surprised when the kid simply says: “I do not trust you enough to tell you.” It angers him a bit because he’s the one who will help them out of the city and who will risk his job for them but at the same time he understands it. He knows he shouldn’t trust them either, especially not this kid because even if Jim’s story is true he has no idea what the Russian who – to believe his record – has stolen most valuable information from the American government has to do with all of this.

“And there I thought you liked me, kid.” Two things happen at the exact same time then: One Chekov grips the steering wheel tighter and suddenly the wheels are screeching and the car is sliding into a curve Leonard hasn’t even seen before, throwing him against the door. And two, Chekov glares at him: “Do not call me kid. I know a dozen different vays to kill you viz my hands alone and beliewe me, you do not vant to find out.” The tone of his voice is almost arctic for a moment and his face steeled into an equally icy expression, as he’s speeding through the streets and Leonard has to admit the kid handles the car extraordinary well considering the speed. But that is probably what you learn in secret Russian agencies. Along with a dozen ways to kill a person with your bare hands...Then the kid’s suddenly smiling again and he reaches out a hand to lightly touch his arm in a gesture that’s more a caress than the reassuring pat it was supposed to be.

“I do like you but I do not know vhy.” And then, after a short moment of silence only filled with the protesting brakes and the noise of the other cars around them: “Call me Pavel if you vant.”

Pavel. He has called him that before, in his thoughts, in his dreams and the hours he spent lying awake, asking himself how his life ended up like this. He has been to Paris, Rome, Moscow, following leads but he always ended up empty handed until he had to focus on other cases. But the kid has sometimes showed up in his dreams, sometimes as the kid from the photos, sometimes as the kid from the abandoned building. He has dreamt of kisses that tasted like cigarette smoke but he has always locked the dreams away the second he woke up, trying not to think about what it meant. It will stop, he told himself, the moment he kills the boy but now he doesn’t think he’ll be able to pull the trigger.

The windows of his home are dark, of course they are; he doesn’t know why the sight strikes him as odd. Chekov – Pavel looks uncertain for a moment, then he says quietly: “I vill park ze car.” And he pulls out of the driveway as soon as Leonard has climbed out of his seat. He unlocks the door and leaves it open behind him. Something still feels amiss but he blames his headache and the events of the day for it. After all it isn’t everyday that you get kidnapped by your ex-partner and then told that what you believed for years is a lie. He rubs his temples with two fingers and then searches the cabinets in his kitchen for some aspirin. Leonard hears the door click shut and drowns the disgusting pills with a glass of water.

The kid stops in the door for a moment and Leonard is about to offer him something to drink, when Pavel lays a finger to his lips, indicating for him to be quiet. Then he starts rummaging through some of his possessions, obviously looking for something. The older man watches him patiently but slightly confused, while he tries to disassemble first his toaster and then disappears into the living room to continue his search there. Maybe the kid is crazy after all, why else would he have kissed a man who is not only twice his age but was sent to kill him as well?

He slowly follows him into the living room and: “Goddamnit, kid what are you...” he starts to voice his protest, seeing the kid tearing through his books on the shelf but when he sees what Pavel is holding in his left hand he stops. It’s a tiny, black button, at least it looks like some kind of button but Leonard knows exactly what it is. He has used bugs like this himself on different missions; he just never expected to find any in his own home... Pavel throws the two he has found on the ground and steps on them in a quick motion. “Do you beliewe et now? Vhy vould zey spy on you if zey are not afraid zat you find out about somezeng?” And Leonard really wants to disagree with this accusation but those are exactly the same bugs the FBI uses to supervise criminals...

Pavel shrugs and continues to stand there, in the middle of his living room among scattered books and papers. And it is odd that the young man who has held a gun to his head just hours ago, who’s been trained to kill people in cold blood, could look so utterly lost and self-conscious. “I should probably go...” he says at the same time as Leonard asks: “Can I offer you something to drink?” They look at each other quietly for a moment, then the kid shrugs. “Vhy not?”

Pavel follows him back into the kitchen and Leonard notices that he still looks nervous, watching the windows with obvious concern. Maybe he’s expecting this to be a trap and Leonard can understand him all too well. He feels watched, now that he knows that someone hid surveillance devices in his house. What if they have seen him? What if they already know that he knows the truth about what is going on and the next minute someone’s shooting down his front door? But nothing happens. He grabs two beers from the fridge and hands one to the kid. “You wanna smoke do it at the window, I don’t have an ashtray.” He adds but Pavel makes no move to go for the cigarettes that are safely tucked away in the pocket of his jacket. He must be uncomfortable in those clothes and Leonard wants to offer him to at least get rid of the jacket but at the same time he wants to offer him to get rid of everything else too and he’s afraid his tongue will slip.

They stand there for a while, quietly nursing their beers until there’s a sudden clunk. Pavel has set his bottle down on the table and there’s this expression on his face yet again, a look of nervous apprehension coupled with a wry smile that tugs at the corners of his mouth. And maybe Leonard has been expecting it the whole time but the moment Pavel approaches him, he’s got his hands on the kid’s hips and pulls him closer. Their lips collide and then they’re kissing, biting, pulling at each other to get closer. Leonard can still taste the nicotine and alcohol and when his hands slide down the other’s spine to the curve of his arse, he can feel the gun resting there. It doesn’t stop him from grabbing the kid’s arse and pulling him closer, forcing his legs apart with one of his own. “You want this to stop you tell me now...” he mumbles and instead of replying, the boy bites his bottom lip until the taste of coppery blood is flooding his mouth.

With a low growl he turns them around, pressing the kid with his back against the counter and plundering his mouth, one hand buried in the golden locks, the other running down his chest. “Such a pretty face.” He mumbles and abandons those pink lips in order to bite at the other’s throat. Pavel chuckles and suddenly there’s the cold end of a gun at his temple once again only slightly brushing over the skin this time. Leonard stops, eying the kid but the grin is still there. Pavel’s lips are bruised and swollen and his eyes are dark, the pupils almost swallowing the ring of colour as he pushes Leonard away from him.

“Let me...” he whispers and then the gun clatters to the ground and the kid is on his knees in front of him. And Leonard can only groan when those skilled fingers are running over his hips and the obvious bulge in his trousers which feel at least two sizes too small right now. Leonard thrusts his hands down to unbuckle the belt and the kid watches him, licking his lips in the most devilish way before pushing his hands away with his own. He watches the boy mouth at his dick through the fabric of his boxers, taking his time before he finally pulls them out of the way. To say that the kid is a tease is an understatement, really. Leonard wishes he had something to hold onto and instead cards his hand through the thick curls of the other’s hair when Pavel scatters kisses down his length, licking a hot path up again that makes Leonard’s mouth go dry. “God, kid...” But the rest of his words are drowned in a low moan because the kid takes him in his mouth and sucks. And he really doesn’t want to think about where the boy learnt to give head like this but it’s like he doesn’t even have a gag reflex because he takes him deeper and deeper until Leonard can feel himself hit the back of his throat and it takes all of his self restraint not to grab the kid’s neck and fuck his mouth. But he’s not the one in control right now and he stills his hips as Pavel bobs his head, sucking and doing that thing with his tongue that sends shivers down the older man’s spine.

And Leonard is no eighteen year old teenager any more but maybe it’s been too long that he had any company that was not his own hand because what the kid is doing to him is too much. He tries to pull the boy away, his fingers still tangled in his hair but Pavel just flashes him a look from under his long lashes and sucks him even deeper. “Fuck, Pavel... I really...” It’s too much, way too much. He’s pushed over the edge when Pavel pulls away a bit, just to focus on the tip, pressing his tongue into the slit, his skilled hands curling around the base of Leonard’s cock, stroking it. With a throaty groan he grips the back of Pavel’s neck, fingertips digging into the delicate skin as he holds him still. And the kid lets him, doesn’t even move when Leonard thrusts into his mouth once and then spills himself down his throat.

He’s shaking, muscles trembling, as he pulls back and stares down at the boy. He looks like the most sinful thing on earth, lips half open, spit and come glistening around his mouth, one hand palming his own erection through the trousers, the other one still holding onto Leonard’s leg. The older man pulls him up and devours his mouth in another feverish kiss, as he takes over to rubbing the kid’s cock. “Should I return the favour, Pavel?” he mumbles against the other’s mouth, biting and sucking his bottom lip for as long as the kid lets him. But the Russian shakes his head. “Just touch me.” And it’s more of a plea than a command but Leonard complies nevertheless. He fumbles with the teen’s trousers for a moment before slipping his hand inside and wrapping it around the hot flesh, stroking slowly but steadily. The kid shivers and moans, sinking against him and gripping the older man’s shoulders to steady himself. The boy is close; it doesn’t take long and he’s grinding his hips against Leonard’s and with a few more pulls he’s already coming apart.

Leonard lets his hand stay where it is for a moment, then he pulls it out of the kid’s shorts and with a grin he licks the salty come from his fingers. The kid stares at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging open and then shakes his head. The older man just chuckles.

For a very short moment it feels as though the universe has shrunk in size and they are all that’s left, all that is important. But the sweet moment of shared breaths and warmth ends too soon when the kid stumbles backwards and hastily tucks himself away. “I... should be going now. Ze ozers are vaiting for me.” It is an obvious lie but there is something in his face and his voice, a hint of fear that makes Leonard just stand and watch as the boy rights his clothes. He then follows the example though, pulling up his trousers so he can at least follow him to the door. “Jim vill get vorried.” Pavel rambles, turning around on the doorstep and pressing a kiss to the older man’s lips that somehow tastes like longing and rain. He mumbles a last ‘zank you’ and disappears into the night that has fallen unnoticed by any of them.

Leonard stands in the door for a while, staring out into the darkness that has swallowed the Russian. He hears the engine of a car, probably that Lamborghini parked in one of the neighbouring streets and when he doesn’t see any lights, he finally walks back into his home and shuts the door behind him. The agent feels like his whole life has been turned around in one single day and he can’t even tell if it’s the best or the worst day of his life; maybe it’s a bit of both.

Sleep doesn’t come easily to him this night; in fact he lies awake for hours with his eyes closed but his mind unwilling to shut up. Was it his fault that the kid left so quickly? Could he have done something to make him stay? Should he have reacted differently? But it was the boy who had offered it in the first place so why was he suddenly so afraid? Maybe he just realised what he was doing then, sucking the man off who had almost killed him and who he knew nothing about? Well, a tiny but annoying voice in his head says, he definitely knows a lot more about you than you do about him, so maybe it is you who should be worried what he’s getting himself into. And Leonard knows that it’s the truth and he _should_ be worried but at the same time he can’t stop thinking about Pavel’s kissable lips. The Russian has awakened a desire in him to claim, to posses, to own and he doesn’t know how to make it stop; he doesn’t want to.

When he finally falls asleep his mind is still filled with unsettling thoughts.

\--

The headache is still there when he wakes up, almost splitting his head in two. It is still dark outside, the sun has not set yet and there are still two hours left until he has to show up at the office. For the first time in two years he feels like there’s something wrong about the empty space in his bed and he blames his dreams for this because it is obviously his subconscious that desires some kind of domestic bliss with a certain Russian spy that includes waking up in the same bed in the morning. He skips breakfast and downs his coffee in a haste that results in a burnt tongue.

It’s still too early but there’s nothing left for him to do so he heads for the office only stopping at the small coffee shop at the corner of his street to pick up a bagel and another coffee. Spock likes this sweet Frapuccino stuff so he takes one for his partner. They’re not the best team there is and they seldom agree on something but the picking up coffee for each other has become a routine no one dares to question. Losing a good friend and in Spock’s case boyfriend kind of brings people together, or so he thought. He will have to talk to the man about Jim never actually betraying them and keeping the knowledge from him the whole time later though he is pretty sure he understands the reason. If something happened to his daughter Joanna because of his job he’d never forgive himself and Jim adored her. Only when he walks through the metal detector at the entrance of the office building, showing his ID card, he notices that over night he has accepted everything Jim told him as the truth. He also notices that his gun is still missing and his thoughts return to the night before and the beautiful Russian on his knees before him.

The image is still present in his mind when he walks through the door of the conference room and finds Spock sitting at the table, hunched over his laptop and typing furiously. His face is as void of emotion as ever but his eyebrows are knitted together fiercely. He doesn’t startle when the other agent enters the room but he closes a window on his computer and turns to face the newcomer with an intense gaze.

“You are early.” He remarks and nods a quiet ‘thank you’ when Leonard hands him the Styrofoam cup with his coffee.

“And you’re a damn liar.”

“I do not think this is the right place or the right time to discuss this.”

Leonard agrees. It really isn’t so he just shrugs and sits down next to him, eying the laptop for a moment before grabbing the stack of papers lying on the table. They sit there quietly for a while, drinking their coffee and waiting until the others arrive for their second case-related meeting. When none of the others seem to have any new information, he almost sighs in relief because this makes his job so much easier. He doesn’t even have to say very much except come up with some kind of fake assumption about where the two could possibly be. “The harbour would be a good place for a hideaway; they got electricity there and everything. They would still be close enough to the city centre to have easy access to everything they might need and yet far away enough to feel secure.” When Spock agrees to this, obviously because he got what Leonard was trying to do, Pike nods and gives the order to search every warehouse in the district.

“This is a job for the police; let the police do their job.” Riley mutters and the only reason Pike doesn’t send him to the harbour to spend his hours with an effortless search is because he still hopes the IT professional would be able to figure out the origin from where Chekov hacked into the server.

The day is just as uneventful as Leonard hoped and feared and he spends most of the time brooding over the files, trying to somehow figure out what is the truth and what is just another lie.

\--

The evening comes and Leonard finds himself with Spock again, waiting for the man to finish his report so they can leave together and he can finally ask him about the whole traitor-not-a-traitor thing.

It is the very moment, when Spock finishes his sentence and lays the pen down, causing Leonard to mumble a ‘thank you’ to no one in particular, when Pike enters the room. The man looks tense but at the same time there’s a certain look of satisfaction on his face that makes a cold shiver of anticipation run down Leonard’s spine because this can only mean one thing: Something has come up on their investigation.

“We have a lead.”

They both look up at the same time and for once Leonard envies Spock for his ability to hide what he’s thinking.

“Agent Uhura is alive. Agent Rand ran into her just now. She was able to escape but Rand was able to shoot her. So now we know why Chekov was targeting those files. They’re probably all alive and hiding somewhere in the city together with Kirk. I don’t know how badly Uhura was wounded but we’ll have to check all the hospitals.”

Leonard doesn’t know how tense he is until he feels some part of the tension seep out of him. It is bad news but at least nothing happened to Pavel. Had the kid gotten himself hurt, he doesn’t know what he would’ve done and it scares him because it shows how much he depends on him already.

“That’s good news.” Pike looks at him questioningly until he continues: “Now we know that they’re not going to leave the country. There’s no way they can get Uhura on a plane when she was shot. Someone is bound to notice something. And Kirk’s not going to go without her.” And maybe he shouldn’t use the fact that the woman was shot to his and finally their advantage but it’s the only way he can guarantee them an airport that’s not buzzing with policemen. “We need the police to control the hospitals. We have to focus on those and the streets.”

Pike doesn’t look convinced. “Why don’t you think Kirk’s just going to leave his friends behind and get out of here with the first flight tomorrow?”

“Because he obviously wants something here. He has a reason to be here, just as Chekov has. I have studied them for years, sir, I am positive that they are looking for something and the fact that you almost killed one of them indicates that they haven’t found what they were looking for yet and they’re getting sloppy, desperate.” Leonard throws a glance at Spock who nods and adds:

“I agree with Agent McCoy.”

“You’re my best man, McCoy and I’m going to trust you on this.”

The moment their superior has left the room, obviously to inform the Commissioner of the new orders, Leonard turns around to face Spock.

“You need to take me to them.”

 

\--

 

They arrive at the abandoned office building only half an hour later and Spock calls Jim before they enter to announce them. When they meet up with the former agent he looks tired, his face is ashen and there are dark circles under his eyes. The worry is practically carved into his skin and Leonard can understand how horrible it must feel for him not to be able to help his friend. Another man joins them and he looks even worse.

“What’re ye wasting your time with? Laddie if we don’t get her to someone who can help she’s going to bleed to death.” His accent is distinctly Scottish and Leonard presumes that this must be Montgomery Scott, one of the three agents that were marked as dead by the FBI.

Leonard doesn’t wait for an answer; instead he pushes his way into the room. There’s a makeshift which is nothing more than a mattress and a few blankets and jacket and on it the wounded woman. He kneels down next to her and quickly assesses the damage, finding it not as tragic as he could’ve imagined. The bullet hit her thigh it’s bleeding a lot but it’s a relatively small wound. He gently touches her leg to move it a bit and nods. The shot has gone through the whole leg, leaving two wounds but luckily no bullet stuck inside the body he would’ve needed to extract.

“What’s he doing, Jim?” The Scotsman asks and the strain is obvious in his tone but Jim reassures him that Leonard does indeed know what he’s doing.

“He was a nurse before he came to the FBI.”

“Not a nurse I was a goddamn doctor, Jim!”

“Almost a doctor... if I remember correctly you never finished your studies; which leaves you with being a trained nurse.”

Leonard only growls something and then concentrates on cleaning the wounds, stilling the bleeding with enough pressure and gauze, then bandaging the whole thigh. “I can’t do much. This’ll do for a few days; keeps her from bleeding out ad catching some nasty infection. She has to go see a real doctor with the real equipment ASAP.” He turns to look at the woman who is still lost somewhere between being unconscious and waking up and adds: “Give her something against the pain. Let her smoke weed for all I care as long as it helps. And tell her not to move her leg.”

He stands up and looks from one to the other and the question burns on his tongue until he spits it out. “Where’s the Russian whiz-kid?”

Jim and Scott glance at each other and they’re obviously sharing something neither of them says out loud. Whatever it is, it can’t be good because Jim’s face is once again twisted into a grimace of worry.

“I’d hoped you know where he is, Bones. He never got back from bringing you home yesterday so we thought the two of you had.... you know, hooked up.” Leonard feels a rush of worry and irritation and he curses himself because he has been dumb enough to let the kid go like that yesterday.

“I don’t know. He left in a hurry yesterday, talking about getting back to you.” He doesn’t answer the question whether or not they hooked up because they obviously kind of did but then again they didn’t get around to doing very much before Pavel left him like that.

“Maybe ask Sulu. The two seem joined at the hip sometimes so if anyone knows it’s him.”

“Ask me what?” A dark haired, obviously Asian man enters the room, his gaze flickering from Uhura to Leonard and back, his forehead crinkled. It isn’t him though, who attracts the attention of the others in the room but the Russian who is quietly following him. Pavel looks pale, like he hasn’t slept all night and Leonard is pretty sure he hasn’t. If he notices the worried looks he ignores them with perfect ease; he’s heading over to where the wounded Uhura is lying, kneeling down next to her and taking her hand in his.

“Zis is my fault, right? I should haff been zere to make ze run, it vas my turn.” He says, his voice tense and weak as he looks up at Jim. He doesn’t even spare a glance at Leonard and the man can’t help feeling he’s being rejected right now. Jim shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair with a quiet sigh.

“No Pavel. You and Nyota were supposed to prepare for the flight tomorrow.” He throws a quick glance at Leonard and the agent nods, reassuring him that yes; indeed he has done his part of the job. “She did the supply run because we were all busy and she volunteered to do it. She’s after all the best at getting in and out unseen.”

The Russian nods but he doesn’t seem convinced and it is fairly obvious that he is still blaming himself for what happened to Nyota. The urge to comfort him, to wrap him into a blanket and cuddle him overcomes Leonard for a moment but he fights it down. After all he has to make up whatever he has done wrong and get the kid to talk to him first before they can indulge in any kind of domestic activity.

It is just then that he realises something else. “Wait, she can’t go with that leg of hers...”

Pavel gently lays the woman’s hand down and stands up, joining their loose circle. “I can do it. Wiz or wizout Nyota.”

Leonard shakes his head. “Jim this is madness. You can’t let him go alone. If this is a trap he’s got no one to get him out, no one who’s got his back!” It was a basic rule to never let an agent go on a mission alone. If he doesn’t got a team in his back then he should at least have a partner at his side.

“I am fully able to complete zis mission wizout a babysitter, agent McCoy.” The Russian’s voice is cold and he glares at him like he’s the one they’re set out to kill on this mission.

“I don’t give a damn if you’re capable of completing the mission on your own! _I_ ’m not letting you go alone.” He tears his gaze away from the kid and instead directs his own glare at Jim. “Goddamnit Jim, like hell I’m going to let him go alone!”

Pavel snorts and opens his sweet little mouth to say something else but Jim cuts him off.

“Enough of it. Bones does have a point. I never wanted you to go alone. And if Bones agrees to take Nyotas place it’s a good thing because he’s a capable agent and he knows how to handle the game.”

The kid hisses something in Russian and now his anger is directed at both of them, Leonard and Jim before he rushes out of the room. The Asian – Hikaru Sulu if he assumes correctly – throws him a sceptic but not hostile glance and follows him. Leonard can hear him calling something like: ‘Come on Pasha...’ in the hallway but he doesn’t catch the kid’s answer or anything else Sulu might’ve said.

“Thanks, Jim.” But the young man only shrugs and sits down on one of the wooden chairs, burying his face in his hands. Spock is at his side within seconds, not touching him or anything, just standing next to him in his usual unattached way keeping him company. Whatever the two had before Jim got cast out and double-crossed by the agency, it’s obviously still going on and Bones envies them for being able to stick together even in a situation like this.

“You know you’re betraying your country, doing this?” Jim murmurs and looks up at him, for once sounding as tired as he looks. “You get caught they’re going to kill you and probably all of us as well.”

Leonard shrugs. He hasn’t exactly thought about it when he blurted out his offer to accompany the kid to Paris but now that he has considered the fact that this might not only get him killed but also marked as a traitor he still can’t bring himself to care. He’s willing to take the risk to ensure the boy’s safety even though they probably won’t get their own happy ending. Hell, the kid obviously hates him, judging from how he’s acting and Leonard calls himself stupid because it hurts much more than it should. But he’d rather be hated than to have to bury another loved one.

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’m breaking the rules for you, kid. And I sure hope it won’t be the last.” That makes Jim smile, a weak and tired smile but a smile nevertheless.

“Go home, Bones. Sleep and pack your stuff. We’ll get you the plane ticket.” Leonard nods because there’s nothing left he could do here and with a last glance at the still unconscious woman and the Scot sitting next to her, stroking her cheek with an affection that makes his chest hurt, he crosses the room.

“And thank you!” Jim calls out behind him but he doesn’t reply, only waves to indicate that he has heard him.

Some part of him hopes to see the kid again on his way down the stairs and down to the car but of course there’s no trace of Pavel and he leaves feeling like a lovesick teenager all over again. Nonono, his sick obsession and that odd crush was enough he couldn’t have fallen in love with the boy as well! He doesn’t know a thing about him, expect that he’s Russian, a genius and has the worst temper he has encountered so far. There’s no way he’s falling for him.

Leonard H. McCoy has never been lucky in matters of the heart. He’s married his high school sweetheart after a year and a few months of being together with her and has divorced her again a few years later. The next woman and the mother of his little girl Joanna, he has met at the university where he was studying to finally become a doctor. Their marriage was working for a short time then she got pregnant and everything changed. He dropped out of college and let himself be recruited by the FBI and though he loved his daughter dearly the marriage slowly fell apart. Then he was assigned to a case that included a former FBI agent and a young Russian hacker who had been working together and he ended up at an abandoned warehouse, getting kissed by a smoking, sixteen year old boy. Three months later he was once again divorced. So maybe he isn’t exactly the best person t start a relationship with but he’s never had an obsession quite like this and now he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

\--

It isn’t until he’s already at the airport that he remembers how much he hates flying especially for longer than a few hours. But it will take them almost 16 hours to get to Paris, the two hours stop in London included. He almost prays that Jim somehow managed to get them first class seats. The other called him at five in the morning, telling him to get his arse out of bed and to the airport and now here is his, clad in a dark suit, bag thrown over one shoulder and constantly fiddling with his tie and waiting for the Russian to show up. He’s nervous, like he always is before boarding a plane because, hell, he knows how slim the chance is to die in a plane crash but he still can’t help the anxiety that settles low in his stomach, making him sick.

He spots the familiar, curly head about half an hour before the flight goes and several minutes after they were supposed to head for the check-in. The kid barely spares him a look, just nods and continues on his way to the gate without waiting for Leonard to catch up. So he’s still pissed, or whatever is wrong with him.

Leonard shows his badge and his weapon at the check in and the woman waves him through the detectors without a second glance. If they’re lucky they won’t even inform the agency about his departure. They have only planned as far as the next evening. If they can’t get the data they’re all screwed, if they do, they may get away with losing their jobs but at least they’ll be alive and breathing and not branded as wanted fugitives. If they manage to get back to the states and the information falls into the right hands, that is. He doesn’t think about it; in situation like this it’s probably best to concentrate on the present and do your best to make sure you don’t screw everything up.

His gaze stays on the Russian when they board the plane. Of course it IS economy class and he reminds himself to take painkillers later or his back will kill him. He’s almost broken his spine on a mission in Mexico about five years ago and ever since then long periods of sitting make his muscles ache, especially if he can’t stretch out his legs and in the narrow space between his seat and the one in front of him is definitely not wide enough for a comfortable position. Pavel is seated just across the corridor, he can see the kid shifting in his seat, trying to arrange his long legs – runner legs, he thinks – but even if the other feels his gaze, he doesn’t turn to look at him.

Leonard sighs and grabs the newspaper, hoping like this he’ll be able to fight the nausea and panic rising in his chest when the plane starts. The tiny woman who sits next to him looks just as scared as he feels, her fingers digging into the armrest, as she stares at the flight attendant with big eyes, soaking up the words about emergency exits and life vests.

This is going to be a very long flight.

\--

Paris is just like he remembers it, only that today the sky is dark with grey clouds and it’s raining cats and dogs. The last time he was here was together with Jim on their first real mission and they were happy to get away with bruises and a few broken rips because they were dumb enough to walk into a trap and an obvious one too. He still remembers Jim shouting something from the rooftop, as he ducked behind one of the metal air vents to escape the bullets that were flying around him and the panic Leonard felt because he was four stories below him on the ground and he couldn’t do a thing to help his partner. They took down the bad guys and were flown out with a helicopter the next day but it was the first time Leonard really feared for his life. It wasn’t the last time he did though, the fear became somewhat of a necessary evil, a shadow that latched onto him the moment he strapped on his gun. But fear is not always bad, he remembers, you’re strongest when the adrenaline is rushing through your veins and you’re fastest when you’re running for your life.

He follows Pavel out of the airport and into the pouring rain then he catches up with the kid, looking down at him and his stoic face that rivals Spock’s emotionless expression. Leonard doesn’t force him to say something until they reach the hotel.

“Mister and Misses Kennex?” The receptionist asks them, looking at them with a raised eyebrow over the rim of his glasses.

“Yeah, something went wrong there.” Leonard says with the sweetest smile he can manage as he throws an arm around Pavel’s shoulders in an affectionate gesture. “It’s Mister and Mister Kennex actually.” And with a wink he leans closer and whispers: “I love to call him my little Miss Kennex in private but he doesn’t like it when other people do it.”

He can feel Pavel stiffen against him but the Russian does nothing to blow their cover, only nods at the receptionist who smiles in return and writes down their names in that leather bound book of his. “You have to sign this and this is the key to your room. The restaurant is excellent and if you’re looking for something more... private, there’s another restaurant down the street that’s perfect for candlelight dinners.” He takes back the paper Leonard has signed and hands over their key. “I hope you enjoy your stay in our city of love.”

The door to the room has just clicked shut behind them when Pavel turns around and hisses: “Your leettle Miss Kennex?” Leonard is sure he can see a spark of amusement on the other’s face but it’s overshadowed by anger and something else he can’t quite decipher.

“I needed to say something.” He shrugs and walks over to the luxurious double bed, throwing his bag on the side that is closest to the door. He tries his hardest not to imagine how they are going to sleep in this thing, if they get any sleep at all. Not that anything is going to happen with Pavel as upset as he is.

“For your information, Meester Kennex...” The boy spits through clenched teeth. “You are only here because Jim insisted on it. I vill not let you tell me vhat to do and...” He shuts his mouth before anything else can escape his lips and stiffly walks over to his side of the bed. “I hope you haff slept in ze plane because ve haff to be at ze club in zree hours.” Then he grabs his bag and disappears into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Leonard doesn’t understand what he has done to make the kid hate him that much.

\--

The jetlag makes him tired and exhausted but he still forces himself to change into a different suit, one that is better fitting and more expensive than the one he has worn before. He wears his gun under the jacket and a knife in his pocket.

Pavel still isn’t back; the kid has disappeared right after he emerged from the bathroom. He was clad in jeans and shirt once again and left the room without as much as a word or a glance directed at the older man. Leonard is about to call the payphone he hopefully has with him right now when he enters the room and quietly walks over to his bag.

Leonard sits down at the edge of the bed and tries his best not to stare when the kid changes into a formfitting suit of his own. He can see flashes of pale skin and catches sight of the scars that cover the other’s body. He wants to know every single one of them, their history; he wants to count and kiss them along with the boy’s freckles. Pavel pockets his own gun – it distinctly looks like the one he stole from Leonard three days ago – and then looks up, asking him wordlessly to go ahead and lead the way.

They leave the hotel together and the receptionist nods at them with a smile, assuming they’re on their way to the restaurant he has recommended them earlier for a romantic candle-light dinner. And for a moment Leonard almost longs for something like that, just sitting together, eating and talking. He wants to take the kid out, maybe to the cinema or as cliché as that sounds for a boat trip, just something that doesn’t involve being shot at and having to convince some mafia boss to hand them a list of names. He feels Pavel’s gaze on him and when he looks at the kid he doesn’t see the same emotionless facade he has worn all day. Instead the kid looks curious, studying him with a questioning expression and Leonard feels a smile taking hold of his lips. As soon as the moment came it’s gone already and Pavel speeds up his steps, mumbling something along the lines of: ‘Come, old man, ve do not haff all day.’

The night club – cliché much – is crowded with people and Leonard understands why one would choose a place like this for a meeting, you can’t shoot anyone in here without initiating a panic and being trampled by a horde of people. You probably won’t even get a clear shot in this crowd. He scans the room for their target and he’s pretty sure that at least half of the men and women in this room are in some way in tows with the mafia or other criminal organisations. They’re behind the enemy’s lines and there’s no way for them to get out of here alive if one of those guys wants them dead. He feels someone drag him away to one of the walls. Pavel look at him with eyes as cold as steel.

He leans forward, pressing his lips close to Leonard’s ear so he can hear him over the loud music. “You vill not get inwolved unless I am in trouble, do you understand zat? I can handle zis and I will handle zis. You are here to haff my back. You vill not engage unless I giwe you ze sign. Clear?” He’s all business and maybe Leonard has forgotten about the kid’s training for a few moments but it hits him now that Pavel really is a professional and he knows how to handle himself.

The older man nods, though his gut is telling him not to let the kid go on his own. “Clear.” And then, before the kid can pull away, he says: “Be careful.”

Pavel doesn’t answer. Leonard blinks and the kid is gone, swallowed by the crowd of strangers.

Leonard takes a place at the bar and keeps an eye out for their target and the young Russian.

“What can I get you, sweetie?” The bartender looks at him with a wry smile. She is young and pretty, wide hips and long, brown hair. He doesn’t really have a type but if he had one she would be it. Still he can’t bring himself to look at her for longer than a few heartbeats before his gaze wanders once again over the crowd of people.

“The strongest you got.” He mutters when he suddenly spots Pavel at one of the tables in the back, sitting awfully close to another, older man. The guy is looking at him with an obvious leer, inching closer by the minute and the Russian does nothing to prevent it from happening. He just smiles and flutters his lashes, not leaning into it when the other man lays an arm around his shoulders but not shifting away either.

Leonard turns around to face the bartender. “Make that a double.” Because if he has to watch this, he’s going to need something stronger.

The music is loud in his ears, drowning out everything else and he tries his best to read what the two are talking about from their lips but he can’t make it out. All he can see is how they’re sitting closer with every minute and how effortlessly Pavel is playing this game. Maybe it’s the same game he played with Leonard, maybe he was just another source of information that he had to exploit and when the kid all he needed, it was no longer necessary to play nice. Leonard grips his glass and downs the content with a grimace. It burns in this throat and he motions for the barkeeper to get him another, ignoring the flirtatious glances she is throwing his way. Their hands brush when she hands him the glass and Leonard tries to focus on her for a moment, instead of watching the Russian.

She smiles, obviously thinking she has successfully awakened his interest and leans closer. “You here the first time?” She has a heavy accent but in Leonard’s eyes it sounds ugly and nothing like the soft Russian accent he so dearly wants to hear.

He nods and looks at the clear liquor in his glass. It’s obviously some kind of vodka but not the expensive sort he has had before and it tastes horrible but it hopefully does the job.

“What are you doing here?”

“Actually I was here with a friend...”

She shrugs and points at the empty chair next to him. “But your amie is not here anymore. If she is smart she will not let you alone for too long.”

Leonard snorts. “Well I don’t think my ami cares a thing about what happens with me.” And he knows that this is not at all professional but neither is it professional to get all cuddly with the guy who was supposed to supply them with information so he orders another drink. Maybe he should quit his job when this whole thing is over because he’s fed up with running and shooting people dead; he’s fed up with people who control him and he obviously isn’t able to keep himself from falling for a wanted fugitive who has absolutely no personal interest in him. The glass cracks in his hand and it’s only the barkeeper who saves him from breaking it between his fingers and cutting his hand open with the shards. When he turns around to look for Pavel and their target, the table is empty. They’re gone.

“Shit.” He hisses and stands up hastily. He throws some of the money Jim had handed him on the counter without counting it and ignored the disappointed waitress who shouted something he couldn’t hear. The agent makes his way through the crowd, panic rising in his chest. This takes too long! He shoves people out of the way and he’s just about to pull his gun to clear his way when he finally makes it to the other side of the club. This is his fault! He didn’t pay attention and now the bastard has Pavel. How could he have been so stupid? He feels the panic cut off his breath because he can’t lose the kid now!

He barges through the back door that leads out onto the street and stops dead in his tracks.

Pavel is pressed against the wall, their target towering over him but it’s not the life and death situation Leonard has expected. Instead they’re kissing. It’s messy and obviously quite passionate because Pavel has his fingers in the other man’s hair and pulls him down while the guy holds onto Pavel’s slim waist. They’re so into their making out that they don’t even notice Leonard standing in the door with his gun drawn.

Without a word, Leonard turns around and walks back into the club. He makes his way through the crowd of people and to the bar where the waitress greets him with a bright smile. He doesn’t look up just orders another drink. In his mind he can still see Pasha pressed against the wall by someone else and it makes him miserable. He feels betrayed and he knows that he has no right to and it makes him even worse. How could he have let the kid wrap him around his finger like that? How could he let his hope grow all over the place, completely shutting off his logical thinking? He should’ve known it. He should’ve known all along. But no, he, Leonard fucking McCoy had to fall in love with a boy who would probably shoot him without even thinking twice.

He can’t even hate the kid for doing this to him. He can only hate himself for being so stupid to fall for this game. How could he let the kid’s pretty face and his sweet lips cloud his judgement like this? He should really quit his job because he is obviously not able to differentiate between people who want to use him and people who are worth his attention anymore.

He drinks until he runs out of money, and then just continues to sit there and stare at his hands on the counter. They’re trembling. He curses and heaves himself off his chair, swaying lightly. The barkeeper has given up on convincing him for a one-night stand or whatever she was out for, about half an hour ago and now she doesn’t even spare him a glance, when he wobbles out of the club. The cold rain soaks his clothes within minutes but he doesn’t care. The alcohol has done its job, making him numb. Right now he doesn’t care anymore. He doesn’t care about Pavel or Jim, about the agency or his future. He doesn’t care what will happen to Joanna if his dad gets arrested and executed for being a traitor or whatever else they will charge him with. He doesn’t care what will happen with Pavel once this is over. The kid is probably smart enough to find a way out on his own. Or he will just sleep his way out of the situation, the tiny and ugly voice in his head says. He shakes his head and barks out a dry laugh.

He doesn’t even notice the pitying look the receptionist gives him when he trudges through the lobby and to the stairs. Once he has made it upstairs he stands in front of a locked door. Pavel has the key. He curses and hits the door with his fist a few times and then lets himself sink against it and down to the floor. Sitting there he stares at the empty wall in front of him and calls himself disgusting and foolish and stupid. He’s drowning in self pity while the mission is still going on but he can’t bring himself to care about it.

Leonard almost falls asleep like this, sitting on the floor with his back against the floor. This can’t be worth it, he thinks. He shouldn’t have agreed to help Jim and the others. He shouldn’t have insisted on going with the kid. And once again he thinks that he should’ve known better than to fall for him.

\--

He doesn’t know how much later it is when he hears steps approaching him. Looking up he expects it to be the receptionist ore one of the employees but instead he sees the kid standing over him. Pavel’s hair is wet and ruffled and so are his clothes. The sight makes Leonard sick and he hurries to get up from the floor.

Neither of them says a word when Pavel unlocks the door and they enter the room. It isn’t until the door falls shut behind them that Pavel looks at him and says: “I got the data.” And he holds up a plain white memory stick.

Leonard wants to let it rest; he really wants to just nod and then goes to sleep and ignore everything else. He should do it, he should just ignore the kid and leave it as it is but he can’t; the words are leaving his mouth before he can stop them. “Did you sleep with him? Did you let him fuck you before you begged him to give you the thing?” His voice is bitter and the words taste like acid in his mouth. “Did you beg for his cock like the pretty whore you are? Or did you just suck him like you did it with me?”

Pavel stares at him with wide eyes and for a moment he almost looks hurt but then he just shrugs and throws the memory stick onto the nightstand. “Vhy do you care? You vere not supposed to be here in ze first place.”

And Leonard thinks he really should’ve drunk more because the words hurt him so much more than he can stand but he can’t do anything to make the pain stop. He clenches his fists and takes a few steps closer, forcing Pavel to retreat until his back hits the wall. The kid looks up with the same blank face as before and maybe this lack of emotion hurts Leonard even more than the words themselves. He wants to yell at the kid, wants to grip his arms and shake him or maybe to pull him closer and kiss him, anything to get a reaction out of him. He wants to see something in those eyes and he doesn’t care if it is regret or hate; he just needs to know he isn’t the only one who felt something. But he does nothing of the sort; he just looks at the kid and despair is staining his voice when he finally forces his mind to form a coherent string of words.

“Why did you kiss me? What did you think when you came to me and told me you liked me? When you touched me like it meant something?”

And for a little moment the kid’s face falls, for a little moment there is something there, something that makes Leonard’s heart jump but it’s already gone only seconds later. “I do not know. It vas a mistake. I vanted to try somezeng. I never zought you vould take it so serious.

Leonard needs a moment to understand what the kid is saying. “Okay.” He says and turns around. He’s not sure of what he feels, he doesn’t want to think about anything right now and for a moment he plays with the thought to grab some more money and go out to drink until he passes out but they will have to leave the next day and he doesn’t want to fuck this up even more than he already has.

Without another glance at the kid he undresses, slips his gun under the pillow and then crawls into the bed. The alcohol makes his movements slow but he doesn’t mind he likes the lightheaded feeling that overcomes him the moment he lies down though it doesn’t help with the stinging pain in his chest. He hears the covers rustle as the boy climbs into the bed as well but he doesn’t turn around. Staring at the dark ceiling above them he asks himself once again: How could he have been so stupid?

\--

He’s up and about before the sun rises the next morning, packing his things and storing the memory stick in one of the many pockets of his bag. Then he sits down in the chair next to the window and stares outside at the dark, starless sky. It’s still raining, thick drops hitting the window with an almost soothing rhythm but he can’t bring himself to fall asleep once again. His gun is resting on his thigh and he lets his finger run over the smooth metal while he tries to banish every last thought from his mind.

It doesn’t work. The last evening is replayed in his mind over and over again; a soundtrack stuck on repeat that won’t end no matter how much he wishes it to just stop. He remembers that one evening, right after his first divorce when he was dead drunk and ready to put a bullet in his own head. He has never told anyone about it but right now he feels the same kind of need in some dark part of his brain though he’s nowhere near close to giving in to it. He’s not that weak anymore.

Leonard spends hours sitting there like that until the mobile on the nightstand rings.

Jim’s voice sounds harsh in the silence.

“You good?”

“We have the data.”

“Good, your flight goes in two hours.”

“We’ll get it.”

“And Bones...”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

Leonard doesn’t answer. He regrets ever agreeing to the whole thing but he won’t tell Jim; of course not. Jim has faith in him and Jim still believes in the kid too. But Jim seems to notice that something is wrong, he was always the one to see right through him as if he was an open book.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah. I don’t like Paris that much. And the weather sucks.”

Jim chuckles. “Now, you’ll be getting home soon enough. Tell Pavel I said hi.”

And then the line is dead. Leonard stares at the phone in his hands for a bit longer before he opens it up. He snaps the sim card in two and dumps it together with the mobile in the bin. Like this no one will be able to track them in case they intercepted the call.

When he looks up he sees that Pavel is awake and looking at him. Leonard stands up and crosses the room, his bag already thrown over his shoulder.

“I’ll check us out. We meet at the airport.” He says before he leaves the room and for once he manages to keep his voice even and empty. The kid’s look alone was enough to make his insides turn and he can’t stand his presence any longer. It’s hard to breathe but he forces himself down the stairs and to the desk where the receptionist eyes him with a sad and knowing smile. “I have prepared everything for your check-out already, Mister Kennex. And I am sorry... about your husband.” Leonard only nods and signs the papers before he hands over the fake credit card. “I’m sorry too.” He mumbles when the receptionist has returned to his small office and left him standing in the lobby.

It was as if everyone on the street was staring at him; there were pitiful looks everywhere and the rain drenching him completed the image. Leonard waved at one of the taxis and tried to ignore the feeling that he was being looked at. How could anyone know about his misery? It was just his mind playing a twisted game with him.

The world smells like rain and he wonders if it was some kind of foreshadowing that the last kiss he had gotten from Pavel had tasted like rain too or if his imagination is making that up as well. The airport is buzzing with people, businessmen and women, families, teenager standing in small groups, listening to loud music and a few soldiers who were busy inhaling their breakfast. The mentioning of breakfast made his stomach rumble but he ignored it. His hangover would only get worse if he hate something and he’s not even sure if he can eat something without throwing it up again.

He gives up his luggage and checks in, this time without his badge and with the fake ID. The gun is still lying in the hotel room because by now the agency has probably started looking for him and if they have consulted Interpol then his name is on every database already and he won’t be able to leave France.

The huge clock above him is ticking so slowly, it has to be mocking him. The seconds crawl away and Leonard goes back to staring at his hands. He is known to be an excellent shot and a formidable sniper because of his always steady hands but now they’re trembling, like they did the night before, maybe they never stopped.

Pavel shows up only a few minutes later and Leonard watches him approach the check-in. The kid seems tired, his shoulders hanging but he holds his head high. Just as Leonard pries his gaze away, he sees two policemen approaching the Russian and out of an instinct he stands up, hand immediately inching to the weapon that is no longer at his side.

Pavel drops his bag and raises his hands, throwing a glance over his shoulder.

He finds Leonard in the crowd and the look on his face is one of pure panic.

They got him.

They recognised him.

His cover is blown.

Then one of the policemen cuffs him. The other one grabs the bag Pavel has dropped.

Someone is yelling something in French but Leonard doesn’t understand it.

Then they drag him away.

Pavel turns his head once again and stares at him. Leonard doesn’t know if he’s begging for help or if he’s telling him to stay and do nothing to blow his own cover too.

He doesn’t know what to do.

The FBI agent just stands there, watching as the two policemen and the Russian disappear.

He can’t do anything.

When he does something he will get arrested too and everything is over.

He can’t let Jim down. The mission is more important.

But he can’t just leave Pavel.

No matter how much the kid hates him, no matter how much it hurts to just think about him and what he said the night before; he can’t just leave him here!

Without any further thought he elbows his way through the crowd and follows the way the policemen have taken. His heart is beating faster, knowing that he is doing something insanely stupid but he can’t help it.

Nobody pays any attention to him; nobody seems to notice the man slipping through the door that opens to a long hallway. The artificial light here is colder, much colder than out in the large waiting area and the white tiles give the whole place a hostile atmosphere. There are security cameras at the doors but he doesn’t mind them. He stops at every door and finds the rooms behind them empty.

At the end of the hallway is another door. The closer he comes the more menacing it looks. Then he hears someone scream in terror and he runs.

PAVEL!

The blood is rushing in his ears as he bursts through the door and into what seems like an interrogation room.

There is blood.

Blood everywhere.

Three lifeless bodies are laying on the floor, twisted into unnatural angles, their empty eyes staring at the ceiling.

But there’s no body with curly hair and the face of an angel.

In the middle of the whole mess stands Pavel. The kid is shaking, staring at the bodies to his feet and clutching the gun in his hand. It belongs to one of the policemen. Pavel has killed the two policemen and their colleague with their own gun.

Leonard is still standing in the door, unable to move further inside. The scent of spilled blood and urine assaults his nostrils.

“What have you done?” He asks, unable to look away from the corpses.

When Pavel doesn’t answer he steps closer. The boy turns around, slowly and the sound of the gun falling out of his hand and hitting the floor is too loud in the otherwise complete silence around them. Leonard has been trained to recognise the early stages of panic attacks and what he sees in the kid’s face is exactly that. His pupils are dilated, his breath is coming out in short, ragged gasps, and his whole body is shaking like a leaf.

In this moment he forgets about everything else. He steps up to the boy, carefully and wraps his arms around him. The kid stands still like a statue for a little longer before he finally sags against him and presses himself closer to Leonard. Then he begins to sob.

Leonard gently pets his hair and rubs his back, trying to soothe the crying teen but it doesn’t help much. Pavel clings to him, burying his face in the older man’s neck and cries, his voice high pitched. He’s still trembling and so very, very delicate in Leonard’s arms like he really is an angel, one that has fallen from the sky and is now damned to walk this cruel earth.

“It’s alright.” He whispers. “It’s all going to be alright.” Though he knows that there is no way to make this alright.

“I killed zem. I just shot zem... I- I did not vant to!” He whimpers and tries to push Leonard away but the older man still holds onto him. “I only... he pushed me against ze vall and... I do not know how it happened. One moment I vas zere and ze next I had his gun in my hand and zey vere dead. Zey are dead and I killed zem, Leonard!”

“Your instincts kicked in. You have been trained to protect yourself and they threatened you.”

“I killed them!” And he’s yelling now, as loud as he can through his tears, which is not really loud but enough to make Leonard step back a bit and look into his tearstained face.

“You did what you had to.”

His hands are still resting on Pavel’s shoulders and this is the moment that breaks the kid. And suddenly he’s talking, fast and his accent is getting heavier the more desperate he gets.

“Vhy do you say zat? Vhy are you still zere? Your plane is leawing soon. You should get avay. You should get avay from me! Zis is vhy no one should be near me! Zis is vhy no one should get inwolved whiz me! I am dangerous! I kill people! I haff killed innocent people, I haff killed children who haff done nozeng wrong in zeir lives! I do not deserwe you or anyone who is kind to me! You should go and leawe me!”

“Wait a moment, kid...” Leonard has to work around the lump in his throat and the grip of his hands tightens around the kid’s shoulders. “You’re saying that... you pulled all the shit to make me leave you?”

Pavel looks at him, eyes red and swollen but there are still tears running down his reddened cheeks. “I do not deserwe you. You need someone better. I am fucking dangerous! I... I am a bad person. You zink I am innocent of ze crimes zey say I haff committed but it is not true! I haff betrayed my country, I haff lied to all ze people, I haff stolen American secrets and I haff killed. I haff killed so many people. I see zem every night. Zey’re all zere! And zey say I should leawe you alone before you get killed too! I do not vant to see you get killed. I could not stand it!”

Leonard swallows and he doesn’t know what to think or to do so he just pulls the kid closer and kisses him. Pavel melts against him, parting his lips and deepening the kiss, until they are both breathless and have to part.

“Vhy?”

“You’re so full of shit, kid.” He kisses him again, wraps himself around the Russian as much as he can because it is all he knows and he needs it. He needs everything, every part of this amazing and broken boy in his arms.

“You don’t get to decide what I deserve and what I don’t, that clear kid?” he whispers as he continues to hold him close and peppers his hair with soft kisses. Pavel nods against his chest and mumbles something unintelligible.

“And as to why... well, that would be because I love you.”

Pavel stills in his arms and Leonard almost fears he has said something wrong when a pair of greenish eyes gives him a look of utter disbelief. “I don’t know why but I’m so goddamn in love with you, Pavel...”

And the kid’s mouth is twisted into something that isn’t quite a smile. Two surprisingly strong hands grip his shirt and pull him down. “Zen do not stop kissing me.”

They kiss until they’re out of breath and some more. Then they separate again and Leonard leads them out of the room without looking at the dead policemen because he doesn’t want to see their dead, unseeing eyes any longer.

“What –” He begins when Pavel suddenly lets go of his hand and slips through the open door of the other room. There’s a computer sitting on a wooden desk and the kid’s face twists into a look of sudden determination, as he looks up at Leonard.

“You haff to go.”

“What the...? I’m not leaving without you!”

“You haff to. I can delete ze records of ze cameras but zey vill not let me on ze plane. Novone has seen you or recognised you. If you go you can make it back home. And ewen if I come viz you, if ze Amerikans capture me zey’re eizer going to kill me for stealing all ze information, or zey’re going to send me back to Russia... If zey ship me back to Russia... it vill be vorse. Zey vill torture me if I do not giwe zem ze data I stole from ze Pentagon and ze ozer serwers. And if zey can not get me to do it zey are going to just kill me.”

Leonard looks at him and shakes his head again. No. No he can’t leave him. Not now! Not after he finally knows that the kid loves him back! He can’t lose him again! But he sees that the boy is right and that this is their only chance.

“Go Leonya. Go and tell Jim I said hi.”

Leonard pulls him into another kiss and he imagines that this is how farewell tastes. Then he turns around and leaves because there’s no way he’s going to walk out of that door if he stays any longer. In the door he stops and turns around.

“Promise me you’ll come back to me once this is all over.”

Pavel looks like he’s about to start crying again and Leonard knows that the kid can’t give him that promise and even if he does, he probably won’t be able to keep it...

“I promise.” The kid swallows and his lips curl into a smile that is so sad it would break Leonard’s heart had the farewell not broken it already. “I promise, vhen all zis is ower I vill find you.”

“I’ll be waiting for you.” He’s already in the hallway, making his way towards the door when he hears Pavel’s voice behind him.

“я люблю́ тебя́.”

\--

He doesn’t remember how he got onto plane. Time’s suddenly rushing past him. The flight is over in the blink of an eye and he’s standing at the airport in San Francisco.

He can hear sirens and knows that there are at least three guns pointed at his head.

Leonard doesn’t know if he cares.

He doesn’t move.

He waits.

The agents who are standing in front of him, one of them is the aforementioned Janice Rand who is currently stepping closer, gun aimed at his heart.

Then there’s Pike and his face is shadowed by disappointment and anger when he walks up to him.

“Tell me one reason why I shouldn’t have my agents shoot you right now and here, McCoy. You betrayed your country; you conspired with wanted fugitives and criminals who trade state secrets. You used my trust to leave the country with an internationally wanted hacker and killer and now you’re stupid enough to come right back here when you know that none of this can be tolerated.

So tell me one reason why...”

“Sir.” Leonard interrupts him and he reaches for the pocket of his coat. He hears the click of a gun but he continues to reach for the content of his pocket. “I’ll give you more than just one reason not to shoot me.” He says as he holds out the memory stick. “I’d advise you to go through this with all the senior agents. And I guess the minister of defence will want to know about it too.”

\--

The walls of the cell are the same white as the walls at the police station in Paris and while he is sitting on the stone hard bench Leonard’s thoughts stray back to the boy – man he loves. He wonders if he got caught, wonders if he managed to sneak out of the airport without being noticed and if he got out, where would he go? Did he have anyone else except him, Jim and the others? The worry is eating him up from inside. When he closes his eyes, he can almost picture him, the unruly curls of his hair, the beautiful eyes that are too old for a boy his age, his soft lips and those talented hands. Who let a sweet kid like him become a killer? Who trained someone like this to end other peoples’ lives? He can’t imagine anyone so cruel but there has to be someone or else Pavel wouldn’t be what he is today.

The night falls, he can see it through the small window and darkness engulfs him. He thinks of Pavel’s last words and wonders what they mean. я люблю́ тебя́. His voice has been soft when he said them. Maybe it is another promise; maybe he was saying that he’ll never forget him even if they never meet again? Leonard is sure he will never be able to forget about him...

It feels like he spends hours in the cell, just sitting there, his back leant against the wall and his eyes closed. He imagines he can still feel the other’s lips on his, the soft pressure, the smart tongue, brushing along his own, exploring so boldly.

_я люблю́ тебя́._

The words are still ringing in his head when he hears footfalls ring in the hallway outside his cell. Someone is coming and this either means he’s getting out of here or he’s being told that his life is over.

Whatever it is, he’s ready to accept it.

“McCoy.” The look of anger and disappointment has vanished from Pike’s face, now he simply looks utterly tired.

Leonard stands up and heads over to the bars.

“You read the files?”

“I did and what we found was alarming.”

“Told you I’d give you more than one reason not to shoot me.”

The Admiral steps over to the lock and opens it, beckoning him outside with a gesture of his hand.

“You pulled quite a stunt there.”

“I know, sir, but it’s my job after all.” Leonard feels himself smile and the other man returns it in the same, groggy way.

“There’s someone upstairs who wants to see you, Leonard.” And Leonard’s eyes widen because, no, this can’t be!

He follows Pike up the stairs and his head is spinning. It’s can’t be... The kid couldn’t have gotten here so quickly, right?

“Bones!”

The hug takes him completely by surprise. Jim Kirk is grinning from one ear to the other and pats him on the back like a proud father would with his son. “I knew you’d make it! I told you!”

Bones can’t help but return the grin and look at the group of people who have gathered in the debriefing room. Spock is there, of course and there’s Sulu. Scott and Uhura are probably at a hospital now, that they’re no longer running from the law. Everyone seems genuinely relieved and happy. There’s only one person missing from their middle and Leonard can’t unsee this.

“Jim. Pavel, he...” And he sees the grin fade from the other’s face instantly.

“I’m sorry, Bones.”

Leonard’s heart stops for a moment. “What? Why?” He expects Jim to tell him that the kid is dead, that the French caught him, that he’s rotting in some prison or on his way back to Russia...

“We haven’t heard a word from him. News came in that the French are looking for him. They say he killed three policemen in the middle of the airport.”

This time he really does sigh in relief and when Jim shoots him a questioning glance he just shrugs. “I’m sorry to disappoint you, Jim, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

\--

The data on the memory stick and the evidence presented by James T. Kirk and his team reveal that a certain Admiral Marcus has not only used the agency to eliminate his own political enemies but has also conspired with various terrorist cells to initiate a war between the US and Russia because according to him this ‘is the only way to create a lasting peace’. He is executed two months later.

James T. Kirk, Nyota Uhura, Hikaru Sulu and Montgomery Scott have returned to working for the FBI. Their records are once again clean and so is the one of Leonard H. McCoy who resigned and is currently continuing his studies to finally become a real doctor.

Pavel Andreievich Chekov, charged with various cases of murder, treason and theft of US state secrets, has disappeared without a trace. No one has seen or heard from him in almost a year now.

\--

Leonard has waited. He has waited day, for day, for day. But one month without any news from Pavel has become two, has become half a year. He has given up all hope to ever see the boy again and it is the uncertainty that is the worst. He doesn’t know if the kid is dead or if he is just hiding somewhere; he doesn’t know if the Russians got him and have him locked away somewhere, torturing him for the information he has gathered.

The days become dull and grey. Though he takes pleasure in his studies, it doesn’t seem important anymore. Nothing is. He feels like those few days he spent with Pavel have been the peak of his life and now there’s nothing else to be expected.

His story has ended.

He just hopes that the kid’s story is not yet finished. He’s too young to die like this. He hopes the kid is happy, wherever he is. He hopes life is for once being kind to him and that he has found someone who loves him and cares for him.

\--

It is a warm spring day and Leonard is driving home from the university. He’s taking the long way because there’s nothing waiting for him but his empty home and a loneliness that has taken over his heart a long time ago. He’s prepared for it now, for the depression and the darkness seeping into his soul.

What he is not prepared for is to find someone sitting on his doorstep.

He’s got a cigarette pressed against his pink lips, eyes closed and his fingers are tapping a rhythm against the door in his back.

And Leonard stops dead in his tracks when he sees him, unable to move or form a coherent thought.

And Pavel stands up almost gracefully, drawing himself to his full height – which is still a few inches smaller than the doctor – as he flicks the cigarette onto the sidewalk.

He takes his time arranging his clothes, a long, brown coat that seems too thick for this kind of weather – suggesting that he’s not been in the states or a place with a warm climate for very long – and a simple shirt underneath it, hugging his slender body in ways Leonard doesn’t want to think about. The outfit is completed by tight, ripped jeans that cling to his long legs and military boots.

“I haff been vaiting for you, doktor.”

And there is this smile on his lips again, this very familiar and so very wonderful smile.

“I hope you haff not forgotten about me.”

And he steps up to him, stands on his toes and presses a soft kiss to Leonard’s lips.

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta-ed. I apologise for all the stupid mistakes!


End file.
